Britt the Warlock renegotiates…

For several adventures, the party hadn’t been entirely comfortable adventuring with Britt the Warlock, someone whose power explicitly came from a relationship with an angel from the higher planes. Sure, Britt was a powerful ally with all manner of cool powers, but the fact she only got her powers because of some shady agreement with an extra-planar entity made them feel a bit uncomfortable.

Tori the Bard was sure that Britt could find lots of deities who would be more than happy to give her otherworldly power, with just a bit of praying and none of this patronage nonsense. It would be the easiest deal in history, she said.

Sovrin the Wizard wasn’t sure about that. He was pretty suspicious of any deal with Outer Beings like this, and it was about time Britt took back control. Sovrin felt really strongly that no patron was better than a bad patron.

On the other hand, Pragmat the Paladin, whilst concerned about some of the onerous requirements of patronage, felt Britt’s actions showed a close alignment with the morals and ethics of the rest of the party. Even if another patron could be found, who knows what conditions they might impose on Britt? He struggled, as ever, to come to a decision. Both ways had their merits.

Things were much clearer for Mona the Cleric. Angels were a good thing. Stick with angels, stick with Warlock power, why change a good thing? And Banck the Fighter? Well, as usual, he saw it simply. Without Britt’s eldritch blasts, the party would be a lot weaker. Weaker meant fewer kills. Fewer kills meant less XP. And he couldn’t support that.

After much debate around the campfire, they finally decided to have a vote on it: let Britt keep her patron, or leave and find another source of power. Predictably, there was no way to separate the two sides. However, they had forgotten about Boris the party donkey. As the voters put down their arms and prepared for more pointless arguing, Boris wandered up and nonchalantly pissed into the circle of adventurers. And as his golden stream jetted onto the ground, the foul-smelling fluid rebound with such force that it splattered Mona and Banck where they sat. As the two yelled out their urine-soaked rage, Britt was clear. This was a sign. She would take back control.

# # # # # # #

It took many days – many, many days – but eventually Britt returned from her hidden Warlock’s Tower. She was haggard and pale, exhausted from long hours communing with her patron. The deal was done, documented here in 500 rolls of finest calf-skin parchment.

Well, no, of course Iye-Yu, her mighty angelic patron, wouldn’t accept an unconditional departure. The patronage came with an agreement, with commitments, and those commitments couldn’t be easily unravelled. Plus, if everyone thought it was easy to get out of patronage – why, they’d all try it! And Iye-Yu couldn’t be responsible for that sort of message.

So, here it was: a binding legal agreement stating that Iye-Yu was no-longer Britt’s patron. Now, in return, Britt would need to find another soul to pay for the one she still owed Iye-Yu. Or she could give up the one she’s got, but that might limit her ability to find patronage elsewhere. Also, until such time as Britt found a new patron, she’d still have access to her Warlock powers. It’s possible those powers might be changed, or Iye-Yu might decide they didn’t work against certain opponents any more, and Britt no longer had any say in that. But she kept the powers, so that was good right? It also meant she could keep on fighting, so Banck would still get his XP. Well, mostly. Result!

Now Sovrin wasn’t entirely happy with this. This looked like Iye-Yu would actually have more control over Britt’s actions, not less. That didn’t look like taking back control. Britt had negotiated out of patronage, by agreeing a lesser form of patronage where she didn’t even get a say. What sort of stupid deal was that?

As for Tori, she felt Britt had mucked things up completely. Britt shouldn’t have negotiated at all. Iye-Yu was lucky to have any kind of relationship with Britt – after all, Britt’s ancestors had been some of the most powerful heroes in the world, just a couple of hundred years ago. Britt was a catch. She should just walk away. There are loads of deities looking for supporters. Who cares if we all earn less XP for a while, eventually she’d level up and then we’d be back on the XP Gravy Train. And sure, they wouldn’t be the same powers you have now, but they’d be better powers, without all the restrictions of this stupid patronage that Britt was clearly suffering under at the moment.

Mona was also unhappy. You had a good thing, why throw it away? You’ve got to find and handover someone’s soul for Gods’ sake, and those things don’t grow on trees. Not willing ones, anyway. Why go to all this trouble to get something that is worse than what you have right now? It’s the very definition of stupid.

Pragmat thoughts it was ok. I mean, it was a compromise, of course no-one would get what they wanted.

The party turned on Pragmat in a murderous fury. No-one likes a smart arse…

 

 

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